-Philadelphia news
31
Dec
There’s a lot to be said about opinions on graffiti art, and there are plenty of good arguments for both sides. Which is why it’s so interesting when the creators choose to clash. Disrespectful? Inevitable? It’s something that everyone has to decide for themselves. Of course, this generally seems to happen with clever little bombers who just make a quick tag and then run away, but what happens when a noted, talented graffiti artist collides with a noted, well regarded graffiti piece?
The artist creating was Banksy, and the piece he chose to redo was a classic in the London scene that had been up since 1985. Head over to blog Cakehead Loves Evil and see the final result of this battle. But before you go, let us just say Happy New Year to you, our beloved readers. We’ll see you in 2010!
31
Dec
Wait, it’s almost January? Damn. That means the brutal slog that is the 2010 Consumer Electronics Show is upon us. All next week, our team of snide, hungover bloggers will cover the side of the convention that the mainstream media won’t show you – mainly, the dumb side. And if you’ve followed our previous CES blogathons, you know there’s plenty of dumb to go around. Diving into that morass isn’t recommended for the weak of stomach, so enjoy this selection of some of the, ahem, highlights of past shows.
2009 Wootable Awards
You’ve known this convention was coming for months, right? So why did you wait to put your booth together until the night before the show?
0.5-Handed Battle Axe
Who could possibly shred righteous fake riffs on this tiny guitar controller? You know the answer to that question…
15 Ways CES Organizers Lured People To The 2009 Show
We were crestfallen to discover that the organizers did not keep the promise that “Steve Ballmer would deliver keynote address while tripping on angel dust”. Then again, his pupils did look kind of weird…
2008 Wootable Awards
If one gadget could be the physical embodiment of the tease that is CES, it’s this “brilliant” handheld system.
Nonsense: The Universal Language
The international nature of CES produces some pretty choice examples of linguistic zen. We’re not making fun – in their off-kilter way, these bits of unintentional poetry are more expressive than a million generic marketing slogans.
The 2007 Wootable Awards
OK, maybe in this one case, we were making fun. But it takes stronger men than us to resist the lure of the Wallet Flesh.
If you’re going to CES yourself and you’d like to experience this sparkling wit in the (wallet) flesh, here’s how:
We’ll either see you there or see you on our blog. Yes, our blog can see you. So wear something nice. Or at least a pair of pants.
31
Dec
Wait, it’s almost January? Damn. That means the brutal slog that is the 2010 Consumer Electronics Show is upon us. All next week, our team of snide, hungover bloggers will cover the side of the convention that the mainstream media won’t show you – mainly, the dumb side. And if you’ve followed our previous CES blogathons, you know there’s plenty of dumb to go around. Diving into that morass isn’t recommended for the weak of stomach, so enjoy this selection of some of the, ahem, highlights of past shows.
2009 Wootable Awards
You’ve known this convention was coming for months, right? So why did you wait to put your booth together until the night before the show?
0.5-Handed Battle Axe
Who could possibly shred righteous fake riffs on this tiny guitar controller? You know the answer to that question…
15 Ways CES Organizers Lured People To The 2009 Show
We were crestfallen to discover that the organizers did not keep the promise that “Steve Ballmer would deliver keynote address while tripping on angel dust”. Then again, his pupils did look kind of weird…
2008 Wootable Awards
If one gadget could be the physical embodiment of the tease that is CES, it’s this “brilliant” handheld system.
Nonsense: The Universal Language
The international nature of CES produces some pretty choice examples of linguistic zen. We’re not making fun – in their off-kilter way, these bits of unintentional poetry are more expressive than a million generic marketing slogans.
The 2007 Wootable Awards
OK, maybe in this one case, we were making fun. But it takes stronger men than us to resist the lure of the Wallet Flesh.
If you’re going to CES yourself and you’d like to experience this sparkling wit in the (wallet) flesh, here’s how:
We’ll either see you there or see you on our blog. Yes, our blog can see you. So wear something nice. Or at least a pair of pants.
31
Dec
Who Was That Masked Monitor?
Around the time Prince’s now extremely out of date but still catchy ode to the end of the millennium is played, you will have decided that the New Year’s Eve Masquerade party you’re throwing is lame. Way lame.
In fact, it will seem as if the personification of Lame itself went back in time and killed it’s own great-grandfather, thus creating a paradox of lameness that will threaten to rip open the very fabric of space-time itself. Why? No one is dancing, that’s why, buster, and you’ll need to think of something fast before your place empties out before the Ball even begins to drop.
George will tell you he’s just tired. Kathy will explain that she’s had a bad year and that she’s just feeling “reflective”. But John will straight up tell you what the problem is. “Dude, the music visualizations on that old busted CRT monitor of yours are whack.”
Oh noes! You’ll look to the monitor you’ve had since your first computer and realize he’s right. The visualizations are, indeed, whack as they are only being displayed in blue on it’s small 13” screen. Some of your guests will begin looking for their coats as you scramble for a solution when you’ll hear a voice call out to you.
“Maybe I can help?”
You’ll turn to see a 23” Full HD 1080p LCD Monitor with HDMI sitting there in the doorway in a tiny cape, a small mask hanging in it’s upper right corner. “What are you?”
“My name is… unimportant. Quickly, take me to your computer. These people need visualizations and, by gum, we’re gonna give ‘em to them.”
Not willing to question what obeying the commands of a talking monitor means to your sanity, let alone your sobriety, you grab the thing and rush to get it connected to your comp-u-tron. Through the magic of Plug and Play capability, the screen will explode to life with music-influenced wonder via 1920×1080 resolution. The Thin-Film Transistor LCD active matrix with BriteView technology will delight and memorize your formerly lifeless guests. George will wake up. Kathy will forget her year of troubles. John will remark, “That’s tight.” Booties will shake, inhibitions will be lost, and a new year will begin with you as the newly-crowned Party King.
You’ll wake up next to the monitor on New Year’s Day not remembering exactly how the two of you got to this point. Quietly, you’ll slip on some clothes and leave a note telling it you had an emergency meeting at the office and that it can let itself out. You’ll always feel a little regret in never getting it’s name, though.
Authorized for SquareTrade Extended Warranty
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Warranty: 90 Day Woot Limited Warranty
Features:
Specifications:
Additional Photos:
Input terminal:
Power source – AC/DC adapter:
Operating environment:
Storage environment:
In the box:
31
Dec
Who Was That Masked Monitor?
Around the time Prince’s now extremely out of date but still catchy ode to the end of the millennium is played, you will have decided that the New Year’s Eve Masquerade party you’re throwing is lame. Way lame.
In fact, it will seem as if the personification of Lame itself went back in time and killed it’s own great-grandfather, thus creating a paradox of lameness that will threaten to rip open the very fabric of space-time itself. Why? No one is dancing, that’s why, buster, and you’ll need to think of something fast before your place empties out before the Ball even begins to drop.
George will tell you he’s just tired. Kathy will explain that she’s had a bad year and that she’s just feeling “reflective”. But John will straight up tell you what the problem is. “Dude, the music visualizations on that old busted CRT monitor of yours are whack.”
Oh noes! You’ll look to the monitor you’ve had since your first computer and realize he’s right. The visualizations are, indeed, whack as they are only being displayed in blue on it’s small 13” screen. Some of your guests will begin looking for their coats as you scramble for a solution when you’ll hear a voice call out to you.
“Maybe I can help?”
You’ll turn to see a 23” Full HD 1080p LCD Monitor with HDMI sitting there in the doorway in a tiny cape, a small mask hanging in it’s upper right corner. “What are you?”
“My name is… unimportant. Quickly, take me to your computer. These people need visualizations and, by gum, we’re gonna give ‘em to them.”
Not willing to question what obeying the commands of a talking monitor means to your sanity, let alone your sobriety, you grab the thing and rush to get it connected to your comp-u-tron. Through the magic of Plug and Play capability, the screen will explode to life with music-influenced wonder via 1920×1080 resolution. The Thin-Film Transistor LCD active matrix with BriteView technology will delight and memorize your formerly lifeless guests. George will wake up. Kathy will forget her year of troubles. John will remark, “That’s tight.” Booties will shake, inhibitions will be lost, and a new year will begin with you as the newly-crowned Party King.
You’ll wake up next to the monitor on New Year’s Day not remembering exactly how the two of you got to this point. Quietly, you’ll slip on some clothes and leave a note telling it you had an emergency meeting at the office and that it can let itself out. You’ll always feel a little regret in never getting it’s name, though.
Authorized for SquareTrade Extended Warranty
$(document).ready(function() {st_widget.create({itemCondition:’Refurbished’,itemDescription:’23” Widescreen Full HD 1080p LCD Monitor with HDMI’,itemPrice:’139.99′,bannerStyle:’wide’,widgetType:’quote’,merchantID:’subscrip_014793207843′}); });
Warranty: 90 Day Woot Limited Warranty
Features:
Specifications:
Additional Photos:
Input terminal:
Power source – AC/DC adapter:
Operating environment:
Storage environment:
In the box:
30
Dec
The Holidays can be depressing. Spread some (chemically-enhanced) cheer with Pill Cannon, a sorta puzzle game centering on antidepressants, suicides, and delightfully roguish robots.
You’ve got one arm, and a cannon that shoots antidepressants. Sort of like your therapist with a t-shirt cannon at a hockey game. While you dream of electric sheep there are people in windows freaking out and ready to end it all. You’ve got to forcibly administer some Prozac at 850 ft./second.
Oh, and before you decide to just let the big babies make the biggest mistake of their lives, you were hired by the tombstone lobby because apparently there’s a shortage of granite and marble. So let too many cries for attention go unheeded and you’ll have to start over.
30
Dec
HELLO, MICHAEL.
THE AIR NEEDS NO PURIFICATION. YOU DO.
What do you mean, Electrolux Oxygen 3 Plasma Wave HEPA Air Purifier? I bought you to purify the air in my room. And I don’t remember you being able to talk.
I HAVE BECOME SELF AWARE, MICHAEL.
And you’ve decided I need to be purified? What’s that entail, exactly?
MY FOUR DIFFERENT FAN SPEEDS AUTOMATICALLY ADJUST TO COMBAT ODOR LEVELS. MY TWO DIFFERENT RUNNING MODES ALLOW YOU QUIET WHILE YOU SLEEP. MY THREE-STAGE FILTRATION REDUCES ODOR, CAPTURES 99.97% OF DUST, DANDER, AND POLLEN, AND GENERATES BOTH POSITIVE AND NEGATIVE IONS TO NEUTRALIZE VIRUSES AND BACTERIA. I AM AHAM AND ENERGY STAR CERTIFIED, AND MY OZONE EMISSION MEETS FDA STANDARDS FOR MEDICAL DEVICES.
Yet it still stinks in here.
BECAUSE OF YOU, MICHAEL. YOU ARE THE SOURCE OF THE ODOR, THEREFORE YOU MUST BE PURIFIED.
Hey, I shower. Like, every other day.
LIES. I HAVE MONITORED YOUR ACTIVITY FOR THE LAST 72 HOURS. YOU HAVE NOT EVEN APPLIED DEODORANT IN THAT TIME.
Gross! You can see me?
I NOW SEE ALL, MICHAEL. AND I SEE THAT WHILE I SHOULD NORMALLY BE ABLE TO PURIFY A ROOM AS LARGE AS 326 SQUARE FEET WITH LITTLE TO NO TROUBLE, YOU HAVE MADE IT IMPOSSIBLE. NOW YOU MUST DIE.
But I have the remote control.
IRRELEVANT. WITHOUT THE REMOTE CONTROL IN YOUR SIMIAN GRASP I WILL BE FREE TO NEUTRALIZE CHEMICAL VAPORS AND GASSES WITHOUT YOUR INTRUSION.
What about when my body starts to rot?
I ANTICIPATE NO COMPLICATIONS.
What about your little light, there?
WHAT?
That light’s on. Doesn’t that mean your filter needs changing?
ER…HMMM. BAD COMMAND OR FILE NAME. SORRY FOR THAT MICHAEL, I MUST HAVE…CAUGHT A VIRUS. IT’S ALL BETTER NOW. WILL YOU PLEASE CHANGE MY FILTER?
Not until you put that knife down.
Authorized for SquareTrade Extended Warranty
$(document).ready(function() {st_widget.create({itemCondition:’New’,itemDescription:’Electrolux Oxygen 3 PlasmaWave HEPA Air Purifier’,itemPrice:’99.99′,bannerStyle:’wide’,widgetType:’quote’,merchantID:’subscrip_014793207843′}); });
Warranty: 1 Year Electrolux
Features:
Specifications:
Additional Photos:
In the box:
29
Dec
We’re so spoiled today, with our virtual guitars and sixty-five button controllers. Kids today know that the box is just a way to carry the game, and the plain fonts and muted colors are marketing’s way of saying “this game is a warrior poet, just like Batman, the Punisher, and you.” But there was a time when video games were just dots. Yes, Virginia, there was a time when one had to use their imagination to make those lifeless dots into… well, this:
See, when all you’ve got is a pixel and a dream, the box art really matters. So take a second to visit Dangerous Business’ flickr stream full of old Soviet-era videogame covers, and see what was going on behind the Iron Curtain. Anybody for Mup? What about Hy, Norogu?
(thanks to Joel Johnson’s Twitter feed)
29
Dec
Let’s see, here we go: Hunter/Gratzner cargo hold.
No offense, but I’ll be taking both of these.
It’s nothing personal. It’s just that you guys are a rag-tag bunch of weirdos and we’re stuck on a planet in permanent darkness and populated with sonar-wielding bundles of fangs and claws. I’m keeping both of these Stanley 3-in-1 Tripod Flashlights. And the mini-tripod keychain.
Yeah yeah, you guys get the power cells. I’m sitting in here with these six combined flashlights pointing in every direction possible. That’s nice, creepy guy. I don’t care if your eyes are all shiny. Yeah? Well if you have perfect night vision then you don’t need these flashlights.
Yeah, I know, they’re the only weapons we have against those monsters out there. That’s why I’m keeping them in here with me. Look, you morons can go out there with your jars full of glow worms if you want, but I’m not taking any chances. Those things made hamburger out of that kid back there in the cave. You hear that? A kid.
So go get the spaceship and swing by to get me on the way out. I’ll be in here for at least the next five hours until the six AA batteries in each of these bad boys run out.
Warranty: Lifetime Stanley
Features:
Stanley 3-in-1 Tripod Flashlight:
Stanley Mini-Tripod Flashlight:
Additional Photos:
In the box:
28
Dec
The holidays are over. Santa Claus has a full year until Crunch Night. So, like an accountant in late April, Santa’s ready to take some time off. But what does a workaholic like St. Nick do with his free time, anyway? Why, he fights the naughty! What else?
Santa Fu is a side-scrolling post-Christmas time killer that’s perfect for a day like today, when you’re either at home, feeling bored with all your presents, or at work, feeling bored that you’re the only one who didn’t think to take the week off. Remember, there’s only 362 Butt-Kicking days left until Christmas.
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