-Philadelphia news
27
Mar
A Special Woot-Off Deal for all you Roomba lovers
Goodness knows, we love Roombas here at Woot. Heck, we’ve almost built an empire on the things. But even we know that there are some places they shouldn’t go.
“Ugh. Oh. Oh, yeah. That’s right. That’s RIGHT.”
“Yes, you’re doing very well, sweetie. Now let’s wrap this up and OH MY GOD!”
“Holy crap, did you just..?”
“LOOK! THERE IN THE DOORWAY, BILLY!”
“Oh, hey there, little buddy! Looks like the Roomba wanted to see where all the ‘action’ was.”
“Well, shoo it away! I thought it was supposed to vacuuming your floor. It’s just sitting there, staring with it’s little eye. Frisbee-shaped pervert.”
“Aw, honey. Poor little guy was just curious. Maybe it just wanted to say ‘hello’. Go on, boy. Go back to your docking station.”
“I don’t trust it, the way it scoots around picking up all manner of things. I swear I caught it rifling through my purse the other day and I KNOW I’m missing some dimes.”
“You’re being a bit ridiculous, I think.”
“OH, AM I? Well then, maybe you’d like to enjoy Naked Bookshelf Construction Wednesday by yourself, mister.”
“Whoa, hey, whoa. Let’s not be crazy. If it’ll make you feel better, I’ll grab an iRobot Virtual Wall next time I’m online.”
“I don’t know…”
“Listen, the iRobot Virtual Wall uses an infrared signal to set up a wall that the Roomba won’t cross. Once we set up an ‘off-limits’ area, Scootie won’t be able to peek in on our more intimate moments.”
“That sounds like a good… Wait. You named your Roomba ‘Scootie’?”
“I… I was so very alone before you came along.”
Warranty: 90 Day Woot Limited Warranty
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25
Mar
It’s The Right Thing To Do
“Hey, Frank, nice Kindle!”
“Kindle? What are you, Bob, some kind of liberal? Kindles are for books! This here’s my new remote control.”
“A remote? For a television?”
“That’s right, Bob. A big remote. The kind of remote an American can be proud to own. A remote that controls five devices the way America controls the international discourse. Without me ever having to get up.”
“So this big remote works for TVs and DVDs and cable boxes too?”
“And how, Bob! And best of all, this big remote is impossible to lose. Just like America. America doesn’t lose, Bob. Not ever.”
“Say, Frank, you think you have any Palin 2012 bumper stickers left?”
“Aw, Bob, I knew you’d come around one day. And it’s all thanks to this giant remote. What a great tool it is.”
“You’re sure right, Frank. If only there was a way to give one to every American, all over the world!”
“Maybe one day, Bob. Maybe one day.”
Warranty: 90 Day Emerson Warranty
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