Phils invite eight players to Spring Training

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Every week in this space, we’ll take a look at the news and offer our own incisive blend of commentary, analysis, and poop jokes. The news you need, from a voice you can trust, in the 90 seconds you have to spare: that’s Woot Weads the Wire.
SEATTL…

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We continue on with our 2011 Player Reviews with Domonic Brown. This is a story of unfulfilled promise. Going into the season as the No. 4 prospect in the game, according to Baseball America, and coming off a season where he posted a .980 OPS between AA and AAA, Domonic Brown seemed poised to slide seamlessly [...]

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It’s Already Wet Enough, Jerkface“On the rocks” certainly does NOT mean “with ice added in.”Did you order a whiskey and water? Well, that’s crazy, but okay, if it’s what you asked for, go ahead and enjoy it. But did you order a whiskey …

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In contrast to the release of Scott Mathieson, the Phils added some minor league depth today. According to Ken Rosenthal, the Phils re-signed Scott Podsednik, 35, to a minor-league deal for 2012. Podsednik missed most of 2011 battling Plantar Faciatis and other injuries. The former speedy outfield All-Star and stolen base champ hit .254 in [...]

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Phils allow Mathieson to pursue pitching in Asia

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Phils allow Mathieson to pursue pitching in Asia

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Scott Mathieson has been released by the Phillies. Here is the statement made by the team: The Phillies have released right-hander Scott Mathieson to allow him to pursue an opportunity with a professional team in Asia, the club announced today. Mathieson, 27, posted a 1-4 record with a 6.75 ERA in 15 major league games [...]

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We continue on with our player reviews. Today, we look at the bench parts of the Phillies roster from 2011. Michael Martinez – Martinez came into the 2011 season as a 28 year-old who had yet to reach the majors and was one of the few players in minor league history to ever post a [...]

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All Possible Worlds Covers A Lot Of Options

Science says there’s probably some alternate world where the Samsung Galaxy Tab 10.1” 16GB Android Tablet is the standard. Hey, seems possible.

“Gentlemen, I’ve called you here to my lab today to discuss my latest finding… a traveler from an alternate dimension!”

What up, pussycats?

“Ha ha, yes. Lovely, just lovely. Now, colleagues, I’m sure you all have plenty of questions, but let’s keep it simple today, okay? I want you all to just write your questions down and send them to me via this Samsung Galaxy Tab 10.1” 16GB Android Tablet’s 802.11n Wi-Fi. Then I’ll read them aloud and our friend here will answer the questions, Sound fair?”

I’m cool with it.

“Good, then. Ah, and I see we’ve already got a question. Mr. Traveller, Dr. Theo Hu wants to know about the primary differences between your world and ours. Care to enlighten us?”

Wow, I mean… I just got here, so I don’t know a whole bunch, but like… well, that tablet you’re using, we have those too, but, like, in my universe its the best selling tablet ever.

“Really? How strange!”

Whoa, man, don’t get dimensionist on me here. I respect your iCulture, you gotta respect what goes on where I come from too. And I mean, a Samsung Galaxy Tab 10.1” 16GB Android Tablet with Wi-Fi is super thin and lightweight, and it’s running Android 3.1 Honeycomb, so it’s got tons of apps and whatever. Plus it handles movie files like AVI, MPEG4, WMV and all sorts of other obscure stuff, and it plays music too! My tablet’s full of MP3s and AACs and OGGs and WAVs and all that stuff. I think I’ve got every single Zep track now. I like to queue those up and just blast ‘em.

“Oh, how interesting. You’ve got Led Zeppelin in your universe too?”

Of course, man! Thank goodness they’re in this one too, right? I don’t think anybody would want to live without hearing Page and Prophy rockin’ out to Stairway now and then.

“Page and… okay, well, I’ll make a note of that. Now, the second question is from Doctor Humphrey Gordon-Welles, and he wants to know how your information systems differ from ours.”

Wow, man, I don’t know if I can answer that. I do know that when I want to surf what we call “the web” my Samsung Galaxy Tab 10.1” 16GB Android Tablet with Wi-Fi handles that just perfectly. Everything looks super sharp on the 10.1” Widescreen HD WXGA TFT Display and I can open all sorts of reading files, like .DOC and .TXT and .XML and .PPT and .PDF… hey, that reminds me, just before I got here, I was reading this really great book from a guy named Willy Shakespeare, about this ghost in Scotland.

“Oh, we have Shakespeare too! I assume you mean you were reading Macbeth.”

Um, no, it’s actually called Blood Castle. See, the ghost is a nineteen year old succubus, and these frat boys have to spend the whole night in the castle without touching her, or they won’t win a million dollar prize. And there’s four different endings depending on which copy of the book you buy! Man, it’s high art at its finest. But what’s this Macbeth book, is that new?

“Hm, perhaps. Well, lets move on. Doctor Henry Jones has the final question, and he’d like to know if your world’s languages are as varied and complex as ours in this universe.”

Well, sure, I guess! I mean, I only know one language, but I know my Samsung Galaxy Tab 10.1” 16GB Android Tablet can handle English AND Spanish natively. And I know a little Sealandia, but everybody picked that up after the war.

“Beg pardon?”

You know, the war! The big war! When Sealand became the dominant global power in the early 90s? Come on, I know you’re a nerd and all but didn’t they make you take a history class or something? Here, I can pull up the wiki page on my Samsung Galaxy Tab 10.1” 16GB Android Tablet and… whoa, what’s this page?

“You mean Google? You don’t have Google in your world?”

Google? HA HA HA HA HA! What a horrible name! Man, you alternate dimension guys are crazy over here. So backward compared to a real dimension like mine. What are you gonna tell me next, that there was only one C.H.O.M.P.S. movie?

“I’m actually afraid I’m not familiar with-”

With the highest grossing movie series of all time? Man, whatever. Just give me back my Samsung Galaxy Tab 10.1” 16GB Android Tablet and let me go back through the dimensional portal. You lame-o’s in Dimension Z can’t handle my kind of cool.

“We actually were calling ourselves Dimension Prime.”

Really? REALLY? HAHAHAHA! Boy, you better hope the laser eyed elephant people don’t find out about that. They’ll come stomp you Z-nauts good.

Authorized for SquareTrade Extended Warranty

Warranty: 90 Day Nuko

Condition: Refurbished

Features:

• Surf the web, play games and access millions of web pages with Adobe® Flash® Technology on a 10.1” screen
• Dual-Core 1GHz processor runs every function and app effortlessly with a full gig of RAM
• Experience the power and speed of Android™ 3.1, Honeycomb Operating System
• Only 0.34” thin and ultra-lightweight, the Samsung Galaxy Tab 10.1 travels well
• Speed and processing power to run any Android or Adobe® Flash® Player compatible game with no buffering, stalling, downloads, or plug-ins
• Access to Media Hub, where movies and TV shows can be rented or downloaded for purchase. When you choose to purchase, your content can be viewed on up to five other Media Hub compatible devices, or even watched on your television with an HDMI adapter (not included)
• Offers Social Hub, which organizes all your favorite sites in one, easy-to-access location
• Readers Hub and Music Hub gives you instant access to more than 2.2 million books, 2,000 newspaper (49 languages), 2,300 magazines (22 languages), and 13 million songs
• Wirelessly stream your movies, music and photos from your smartphone, or tablet to your Smart TV, PC and to other DLNA Certified® devices. Samsung AllShare™ seamlessly puts your music, memories and videos in harmony
  

Additional Photos:

• Grey
• White
• Top Profile
• Bottom Profile
• Package Contents

In the box:

• Samsung GT-P7510 Galaxy Tab 10.1” 16GB Android Tablet with Wi-Fi (Choose: Grey or White)
• USB Cable
• AC Adapter
• Earbuds
• (2) Spare Ear Cushion Pairs
• User Guide

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