Woot!

What did you do this weekend? If you’re like us, it was many different things. Some of us were out of town, some of us enjoyed a quiet weekend with the wife, one of us even Tweeted at Bumbershoot. And guess what? One of us went to PAX!

Forums overdog Gatzby went out and took us a few pictures of the Penny Arcade Expo. Only he didn’t take any notes, so we’ve been forced to re-create his journey in our imagination. Join us, won’t you? After the jump, you’ll be seeing part one of this extravagant two day adventure. Remember, if you don’t love it, he’ll probate you for life!

PAX is the place where the creme-de-la-creme of video gaming go to discover… well, whatever’s coming next. So it should be no surprise at all that PAX  was the place where the big news broke.

In case you slept all weekend, let us be the first to tell you: Duke Nukem Forever has been announced! Sure, that first happened a decade ago, but this time they swear it’s for real. Our industry connections told us the big day was coming, so we made Gatzby swear to get us some exclusive DNF details. Only… wow, what a line, right? So we couldn’t fault the guy for deciding to hit a few other booths first. We trusted Gatzby when he said he’d check back again later. Besides, there’s always something to see at PAX.

Check out this dude playing Homeless Guy In A Park Fights The Invisible Elves. Go ahead, laugh all you want. They laughed at Guitar Hero too, and look how much money that made.

Here you’re getting a first look at the latest comic-based adventure game, Deadline At 70s Marvel. In this game, the player takes the role of heroes like Steve Gerber and Jim Starlin, rushing in after a full night at the bars and finding the book must be ready by three. “Hey,” says Jim, “maybe Cap should fight three mad scientists evolved from traffic cones?” “Right on!” says Steve. “But can we Work in a dig at Nixon?” Pow! Wham! Dick! Deadline made, level up. Also serious players should unlock Steve Engelhart mode for the ultimate challenge.

In this booth, scientists simulated what an Apple store would look like all the time if OS X supported decent games.

Here a grumpy Aragorn shows designers how small changes can help keep them from having to pay needless royalties.

From far away, Gatzby thought he’d found the greatest Pez dispenser in history! Then he got a little closer and saw this:

Eh, so what, still not too bad. Plus it led to a chance meeting that helped Gatzby finally do something he’d always wanted to do.

THERE HE IS! THERE HE IS! Gatzby’s cries of joy filled the convention center. Maybe this meant his luck was changing! Maybe this time he’d…

…or not. But hey, it was early in the Expo. The crowd was bound to thin out. And Gatzby had promised us an exclusive. No matter the cost, he wasn’t leaving empty-handed.

Gatzby’s visit to PAX continues tomorrow with more photos and… dare you hope for special Duke Nukem Forever images? We guess Duke Nukem fans will believe anything at this point. So be here tomorrow, and maybe you’ll get some!

I don’t usually condone venturing into the scuzzy precincts of LiveLeak, but this video taken onboard a cruise ship in stormy seas is worth the risk of contamination. Never before has so much furniture slid so far at so many portly passengers. Citizen journalism wins again!

Behold! The power cosmic is mine!

But can a mere mortal be trusted… with UNIVERSAL POWER?!

Lo, Gina, do not come closer! Even now unimaginable power courses through my very being and I fear I may not contain it! My body… changing! The very perceptions of space and time I once knew as unalterable fact are now mere suggestions in the face of this new force! We were fools to play god with this Philips 6-Device Universal Remote Control 2 Pack, Gina!

“Oh Jim I warned you! What use would a man have for two universal remotes?! It’s not natural!”

Dammit Gina this is no time for “I told you so!” I must find a way to harness this incredible energy!

“But for what end, Jim?!”

Why for the world, of course! Think of a future in which your DVR, DVD player, CD player, satellite, cable, and TV all function with the same remote control! My god, it’s even adapting.

“What do you mean, ‘adapting,’ Jim?!”

It’s… it’s LEARNING the functions I use that it didn’t originally have. It’s changing me… us!

“Jim I don’t like it one bit! Put those remotes down now! These are things humans weren’t meant to hold!”

No, Gina. I don’t think I’ll put them down. In fact, I don’t think I’ll EVER put them down!

“Jim, what are you saying?! JIM?! NOOOOOO!”

ZZZZZZAAAAAAAAAAAAAPPP!

Yeeeeesssssss…

Warranty: 90 Day Philips

Condition: New

Features:

• Consolidate all your AV remotes into one: 6-in-1 consolidation remote control with advanced functionality for your Satellite/Cable, DVR
• Full compatibility with your devices
• Keep updated for future devices via integrated learning keys
• Works with all your AV devices since 1990
• Specifically designed for use with SAT/Cable devices
• Memorize setup codes even when changing batteries: codes are stored in the permanent remote control memory so you will not lose any codes stored
• Easy setup: simple steps to setup your remote
• The remote control automatically turns off if buttons are pressed for more than 30 seconds (saves your batteries in case the remote control gets stuck in a place where the buttons remain pressed)
• DVR (TiVo/Replay) buttons are in blue for easy identification on the keypad
• The remote control is equipped with the most common functions for operating your devices; however, if you miss certain functions, this remote control can ‘learn’ these functions from the original remote control
• Code search by brand lets you search for a code for a specific brand within the code library for a particular manufacturer
• You can store any kind of code under any mode, except for TV (ex. you can store a DVR code under the DVR or CBL button, but you can only story TV code under the TV button)
• Works with combo devices (ex. TV with built-in DVD, TV with VCR, etc.)
• Ability to clear all learned commands under all modes or just clear learned commands under a single, specific mode (ex. useful if you replace one AV device with another brand but all other devices remain)
• Requires (2) AA Alkaline batteries, not included
• User Manual
  
• Online Code Search Tool

“Bagless”? We Prefer The Term “Bag-More”

I’m the Eureka Comfort Clean, and I’m here to tell you that you can lead a full, active lifestyle whether you have a bag or not.

Every day, thousands of bag-free Americans just like me do all of the same things that everyone else does. We play racquetball. We give our kids piggyback rides. We enjoy satisfying love lives – seriously, I could show you some home videos that would pop your eyes right out of your skull. We snowboard.

And most of all, we get carpets cleaner than you’ve ever seen in your life. The doctors say our bodies compensate for our lack of bags by developing whirlwind cyclonic technology. This extraordinary adaptation lets us maintain suction power far longer than a traditional vacuum.

Why does everyone always snicker when I say that? Baglessness is no laughing matter, people.

My point is, don’t look at us as handicapped or disabled or neutered. Look at us as ordinary citizens just like you, with all the same feelings and abilities and dreams, who happen to have a HEPA filter that captures 99.97% of dust and allergens. The days of hiding our baglessness in the shadows are over. Bag-free Americans will be your friends and clean your floors, but we refuse to hide in your closets.

Unless that’s just where you keep your vacuum cleaner. That’s OK, I guess.

Warranty: 2 Year Electrolux

Condition: New

Features:

• Automatic cord rewind rewinds 25-foot
• Cord effortlessly for quick and easy storage
• Easy-Empty Dust Cup
• Washable Canister Filter
• Whirlwind cyclonic technology maintains suction power longer with powerful whirlwind cyclonic technology
• HEPA filter captures 99.97% of dust and allergens for a cleaner home
• Adjustable Telescoping Handle with Comfort-Gripped O-Shaped handle

Specifications:

• Turbo Nozzle: Power Paw with Riser Visor
• Power: 12 amps
• HEPA Filter: HF-11 (4.5” x 3.25” x 1”)
• Dust Cup Canister Filter: DCF-21 (3.75” x 4.25”)
• Cord Length: 25 ft.
• Weight: 19 lbs.
• Shipping Weight: 23 lbs.
• Cleaner Dimensions 14”(w) x 12”(L) x 42.75” (H)
• Cleaning Path Width: 14 in.
• Telescopic Wand: 17 in.
• Telescopic Wand Extended: 26 in.
• Vacuum Hose: 31 in.
• Vacuum Hose Extended: 108 in.
• Total Extended Reach: 134 in. (11 ft. 2 in.)

Additional Features

• Odor Elimination: No
• Height Adjustment: Yes
• Bagless: Yes
• Flip-Bottom Cup: Yes
• Suction Control Switch: No
• Easy-Empty Dust Cup: Yes
• Indicators: No
• Edge Kleeners™: Yes
• Automatic Cord Rewind: Yes
• Converts to Hand Vac: No
• Additional Tools: Telescopic Wand, Crevice, Combo Brush
• Easy-Reach Design: Yes

Additional Photos:

• Eureka Comfort Clean Vacuum
• Eureka – Detail
• Retail Package
• Cord Rewind
• Height Control
• Dust Cup with Filter
• HEPA Filter – Cover Off
• HEPA Filter – Cover On
• Eureka with Power Paw Accessory Attached – Vertical
• Eureka with Power Paw Accessory Attached – Horizontal

In the box:

• Eureka Comfort Clean
• Telescopic Wand
• Crevice Tool
• Combo Brush
• Users Guide
• HF-11 HEPA Filter (Already Installed)
• DCF-21 Dust Cup Canister Filter (Already Installed)

It’s Not Stealing When They Do It

Even the very best “beat the system” plan is going to need a little hardware.

Richard Branson, the billionaire, started out smuggling records into England. By the time he was arrested in 1971, he was rich enough to afford the fine. Now he’s got a knighthood and an airline. THIS COULD BE YOU!

But don’t think it’s easy to become a white-collar criminal. You need to be brave, clever, sneaky, and also have that initial startup capital. Like, if you were going to exploit the spirit of fair use by releasing a movie as hundreds of ten second clips (each sold separately) you’d want to first buy a JVC Everio HD Camcorder.

The JVC Everio HD Camcorder is very portable, meaning you can sneak it in places where one would normally not expect a camera to be. It’s also got an LED video light built right in, so dark places can be well lit. Use that 20x optical zoom and the Konica Minolta HD lens to make a 1920 x 1080 Full HD recording, and save all those ten second clips to a SD/SDHC Memory Card (not included) in one of the two card slots and pow! You’re ready to go!

If Branson can make an empire out of selling cut-outs from the back of his car, surely YOU can make millions using a JVC Everio HD Camcorder to collect the very latest fair-use blockbusters. Even better: what about releasing just the good parts? Imagine an hour-long collection of ten second clips with nothing but the explosions and the sex scenes. Hey, if Hollywood doesn’t care about a logical plot, why should you? Just be sure to charge a small “assembly fee” to cover the cost of your JVC Everio HD Camcorder and put a little bit aside each day.

After all, if you can cover the fine, you’re no longer a pirate. You’re a maverick businessman!

Warranty: 90 Day JVC

Condition: Refurbished

Features:

• 1920 x 1080 Full HD recording
• 20 x optical zoom with a Konica Minolta HD lens, zoom without sacrificing quality
• HD Gigabrid Premium image processor
• Great portability, only weights 0.68 lbs with battery attached
• Dual SD memory card slots to extend recording time
• Capture Full HD video to SD/SDHC memory cards (not included)
• 3.05-megapixel CMOS image sensor (1.16 effective for video)
• LED video light helps illuminate low-light environments
• Laser-touch operation selection bar allows you easily zoom, record, and browse
• Widescreen 16:9 recording mode
• One-touch upload to YouTube
• Face detection technology
• Includes Remote Control (battery included)
• Includes USB cable (52” long), component video cable (58” long), and composite audio/video cable (58” long)

Camcorder Color Photos:

• Blue Camcorder
• Blue Camcorder Package Contents
• Black Camcorder
• Black Camcorder Package Contents
• Red Camcorder
• Red Camcorder Package Contents

Additional Photos:

• Camcorder Assorted Buttons, HDMI and Component Inputs, and Memory Card Slots
  
• Camcorder Lens, Microphone and LED
  
• Camcorder Zoom and Snapshot Buttons
  
• Camcorder USB Input
  
• Camcorder Packaging
  

Product Specifications:
Power Supply:

• DC 11V (using AC adapter)
• DC 7.2V (using battery pack)

Power Consumption:

• Approximately 3.3W

Rated Current Consumption:

• 1 A

Dimensions (W x H x D):

• 2-3/16” x 2-9/16” x 4-7/16” (54.2mm x 65mm x 112.5mm)

Weight:

• Approximately 0.57 lbs (260 g)
• Approximately 0.68 lbs (310 g) (including battery and grip belt)

Operating Temperature:

• 32°F to 104°F (0°C to 40°C)

Operating Humidity:

• 35% to 80%

Storage Temperature:

• -4°F to 122°F (-20°C to 50°C)

Pickup:

• 1/4” (2,800,000 pixels) progressive CMOS

Lens:

• F 1.9 to 3.2
• f= 2.9 mm to 58 mm
• 20:1 power zoom lens

Filter Diameter:

• ø30.5 mm

LCD Monitor:

• 2.7” diagonally measured
• LCD panel/TFT active matrix system

LED Light:

• Within 4.9 ft (1.5 m)

Recording/Playback Format:

• Video: MPEG-4 AVC.H.264
• Audio: Dolby Digital (2ch)

Signal Format:

• 1080i/60

Recording Mode (Video):

• UXP: 1920 x 1080 pixels, average of 24 Mbps (VBR)
• XP: 1920 x 1080 pixels, average of 17 Mbps (VBR)
• SP: 1920 x 1080 pixels, average of 12 Mbps (VBR)
• EP: 1920 x 1080 pixels, average of 5 Mbps (VBR)

Recording Mode (audio):

• 48 Hz, 256 kbps

Still Image Format:

• JPEG

Image Size:

• 1920 x 1080
• 1440 x 1080
• 640 x 480

Picture Quality:

• FINE/STANDARD

HDMI:

• HDMI (V.1.3 with x.v.Color)

Component Output:

• Y, Pb, Pr Component Output
• Y: 1.0 V (p-p), 75Ω
• Pb/Pr: 0.7V (p-p), 75Ω

AV Output:

• Video output: 1.0 V (p-p), 75Ω
• Audio output: 300 mV (rms), 1 kΩ

USB:

• Mini USB type A and type B
• USB 2.0 compliant

Power Requirement:

• AC 100V to 240C, 50 Hz/60Hz
• AC Adapter (2-Prong) Length: Approximately 75”

Output:

• DC 11V, 1A

Remote Control:

• Power Supply: DC 3 V
• Battery Life: Approximately 1 Year
• Operating Distance: Within 16.4 ft. (5 m)
• Operating Temperature: 32°F to 104°F (0°C to 104°C)

In the box:

• (1) JVC Everio 3.05MP HD Camcorder w/20x Optical (You Choose: Blue, Black OR Red)
• (1) Rechargeable lithium ion battery
• (1) AC Adapter/Charger
• (1) Grip Belt/Wrist Strap Combo
• (1) Remote Control
• (1) USB 2.0 Cable and Core Filter
• (1) Component Cable and Core Filter
• (1) Composite Audio/Video Cable and Core Filter
• (1) JVC Application CD-Rom (Windows Only)

Inset credit: nickwebb

Inset credit: shankbone

Inset credit: daly3d